Discovering your partner has a sex or porn addiction is devastating for partners. For some it comes as a complete shock, while for others it confirms the fears and suspicions they had for years. But for all partners, the discovery of disclosure can leave you reeling from a roller coaster of turbulent thoughts and emotions such as shock, anger, despair, sadness, betrayal, shame, and helplessness. It’s often hard to access appropriate support as high levels of shame and trauma can make it feel impossible to share what you are going through with family and friends.
Individual therapy, first and foremost, is there to help you find a sense of stability and safety and provide a space to make sense of the many complex and conflicted thoughts and feelings, and over time, find your feet again.
Questions partners often ask include:
‘How come I didn’t know?’
‘Should I stay, or should I go?
‘Who do I talk to?’
‘Will I ever trust again?’
I may not be able to give you all the answers that you will probably want about your partner and your relationship, but I can help you to develop the tools you need to begin to feel safe again. I will also help you to understand what sex and porn addiction is and recognise that your partner’s behaviour is not your fault, nor your responsibility. And, when you’re ready, I’ll work with you to consider what your options might be for the future, whether that is to try and rebuild trust and stay in your relationship, or separate and move on with your life.
Further reading
‘Sex Addiction: The Partner’s Perspective’ by Paula Hall
‘Understanding and Treating Sex and Pornography Addiction’ by Paula Hall
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