Close relationships are rewarding and when working well can leave us feeling secure, confident, loved and fulfilled, however, most of us experience some difficulty at some point on the relationship journey.  Years of ups and downs can take its toll on committed relationships and marriages which often leave you feeling frustrated and disconnected. I believe that your relationship can do better than just survive.  I believe it should thrive!

Thankfully, over the past 40 years, extensive research has been conducted on how couples can develop and maintain good relationships. Drs John and Julie Gottman’s pioneering research has given us insight into what makes couples separate or last over time.  

What is the Gottman Method?

The Gottman Method Couples Therapy is the culmination of almost 50 years of research on relationship satisfaction and health, conducted by renowned relationship experts Drs John and Julie Gottman. 

The goals of Gottman Method Couples Therapy are to:

  • Disarm conflicting verbal communication
  • Increase intimacy, respect and affection
  • Remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy
  • And create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within the context of the relationship.


Drs John and Julie Gottman’s introduction to the Gottman Method

I understand how painful and confusing it can be to feel disconnected from your partner which is why I am passionate about helping couples to rebuild trust, connection and intimacy. I am honoured to have the privilege of being part of the wonderful change that can happen when couples decide to focus on their relationships.

A range of factors can explain a breakdown in an existing relationship or the experience of “always ending up in the wrong relationship”. The experiences we have had in the past will have shaped our view on how we believe relationships should work – but sometimes our past experiences are not always positive. For some clients, this is explored in detail. Other clients often find that one or more of the following causes relationship strain or breakdown:

Communication problems


Sexual difficulties

Abusive behaviours

Parenting styles

Alcohol or drug use

Pornography use


Emotional distance or loneliness


Ending of a relationship

Lifestyle changes


Mental health problems

Irrespective of the cause, relationship difficulties can be resolved or managed if there is a willingness on both parts of the couple.  This gets discussed in more detail at the initial appointment.  

To find out how well your relationship is doing, please take this quick quiz, courtesy of The Gottman Institute.

Further reading

‘The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work’ by John Gottman

‘Hold Me Tight’ by Dr Sue Johnson


How do I begin?

Relationship counselling begins by meeting both you and your partner in the first session to identify the areas in your relationship which need to be addressed and what you would like to get from therapy.  I may also do individual sessions with one or both of you if necessary and agreed by both of you.  Where clients are not in a relationship, I will meet with you and explore how I can support you.

How many sessions do I need?

There are many factors that impact the length of relationship counselling including what the presenting problem is and how long the issue has been a problem.  However, the average number of sessions for successful therapy is between 8 and 16 sessions.

Are my sessions confidential?

Everything that you talk about with me is confidential and the information can only be released with your written consent.  However, there are some exceptions if there is a risk of suicide or harm to another person.

How long does a therapy session last?

The length of each session can vary slightly depending on the service but generally lasts between 50 and 60 minutes.

Read my post – Is it time to go to couples therapy?